con-trol [kuh n-trohl] -to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.
ma-nip-u-late [muh-nip-yuh-leyt] -to handle, manage, or use, esp. with skill, in some process of treatment or performance: to manipulate a large tractor.
Let's contemplate a question for a moment and assume that a dictionary is not the place to find the answer: What is control? What does "control" really mean? And if it exists, where does it reside? From the moment we learn this word we are stuck with the task of controlling our selves, in the process our brain is somehow separated from our body and deputized to police all of its' actions. Long before we have our first puppy we have this animal called our "body" and we must train it and keep it on a short leash or else it might aimlessly roam the neighborhoods at night digging in peoples garbage. Some people try using force and punishment to train their animals, some use a pocket full of treats, one way or the other we are working with our will in an attempt to subordinate another. But are we really "controlling" anything? Nope.
"Control" is an elusive illusion that literally makes us crazy if we pursue it, and being a firm pillar in the dominant narrative it's no wonder the world is in the state it's in. I believe that some words really don't need to exist, their premise is false and faulty and they lead the human consciousness astray and away from clarity, reality. "Control" is one of these words, it's about time we lose "control" once and for all. There is a word based in reality that is ready to do the job that "Control" has failed to do, but this word has a bad rap and it's time we exonerate it for the crimes it has not committed. The word "Manipulate" has a heavy negative connotation in the English language, our somewhat venal sense of individuality makes us shudder at the thought of being manipulated. The same may be true for "Control", nobody really wants to be controlled by another, but relax, you aren't. You're also not in control of anyone else, including your self.
But you are manipulating your self (or your body) and you manipulate others and they manipulate you, it's called society. Sure, manipulation can be a "bad" thing, but it's constantly happening in mostly neutral ways, and often in very positive ways. We simply fail to give manipulation the credit when it's delivering the good things in life, we may even mistakenly give the credit to something that doesn't deserve it, doesn't even exist, like "control." If you're not quite convinced that "control" is a mere illusion then lets try a little experiment, part physical part thought experiment. Is there an object nearby that you can pick up? Go ahead and pick it up and move it about one inch and put it back down again, assuming it's under 100lbs of course. How did you do it? What was the first thing that happened? A thought? An intention? Did your arm just move without any special instructions? Did your brain "control" your arm and hands and the object you picked up?
If you can answer "Yes" to the last question, I'm asking you to consider it again, more, deeper. The truth is that "control" is debatable at best, it's not just an abstraction but it's very existence relies entirely on a philosophical question. Manipulation may be equally abstract, but for it's slightly more conservative and realistic definition it's existence is not in question. If I ask the question "Did you (or your brain) manipulate your arm, hand, and the object?" The answer is unequivocally "Yes." But in our culture, for some reason, to be a "manipulator" is equivalent to being a "hater", manipulation is somehow blamed for all of the crimes committed in the pursuit of control. Somehow "control" is the hero and "manipulate" is the villain, as if there was a war and the winner rewrote history, and reality. Manipulation is at the very heart of every verb we undertake from the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we slip into dreamland once again.
While those who seek "control" over themselves, others, and the environment can grow more and more frustrated with their inability to achieve and maintain that impossible goal, those who seek only to manipulate their world can experience constant satisfaction with their inevitable success. Manipulating another human being is only negative if you believe that it is, it happens no matter what you believe so it's better to see that it is fundamentally benign. In fact some of the most wonderful experiences in our lifetimes require a state of mutual manipulation, not the least of which is making love to another soul. That some people manipulate others for personal gain with no consideration of mutual benefit is no fault of manipulation itself, as Ani Difranco said so eloquently "Every tool is a weapon if you hold it just right." Yet we tend to shun this tool even as we wield it, there is perhaps nothing more dangerous, more negligent than to use a tool in such a state of denial.
If you're a fan of Kung Fu movies you may think of ancient China as a land of martial chaos, but the practice of martial arts has always been largely misunderstood looking from west to east. Those who practice martial arts are actually less likely to be unstable, aggressive, and dangerous elements of their communities, unless of course their goal was to harness all of the power and none of the respect. But for most people the process of learning the extent of your physical power, your martial energy, also brings you the necessary respect that power requires. Those without this knowledge of the force within them are truly the less stable elements, walking around with a gun that they didn't know was loaded. The body and all of it's physical energy is our most powerful tool, and the practice of martial arts and other body energy studies such as Tai Chi and Yoga are how we get a handle on that tool. And without a handle, a knife, an ax, a shovel aren't tools at all, just dangerously sharp objects littering the landscape.
But "control" alone is not the worst drug on the street, it's more of a gateway drug for the true poison called "Control over." I'd prefer that no individual make any special effort to "control themselves" if they can accept "manipulate" as a suitable alternative, but to attempt "Control over" others is a crime of a much higher order. If one achieves a position of authority in some aspect of life based on merit alone, chances are they were not driven by the notion of "Control over". But in our political world of military force, police brutality, corporate rule, and the corruption that makes it all possible, there are many forces out there that seek to have "control over" everything and everyone in a monopolistic fervor to rule the world. "Control" may be an illusion, but the crimes committed by those who pursue it are very real. Imagine a world without this word, without this illusion, without the primary fuel for tyranny. Maybe you can't "make it happen" but you can manipulate it into being, not unlike the way you moved your arm.
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